why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
