the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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