I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
