Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
