i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize