If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
