I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
