The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
