I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
BRING THE BAGELS
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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