Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
