I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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