My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
