It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Let's get the cat blown out
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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