he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
