bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
