you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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