Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When are your genitals available?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
