i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
