I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How external is "for external use only"?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
