actually, I'm a sock model
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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