I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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