Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize