Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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