So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
