I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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