Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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