that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i think my cat just said my name.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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