She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
