Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize