I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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