his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
