so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
