My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize