Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
