It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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