Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize