guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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