Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
