A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
