Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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