I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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