Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
