Porn is love you can see.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
