something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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