Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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