YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
