They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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