Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize