There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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