he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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