I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
