why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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