Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
