I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
