I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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