You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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