I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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