I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
