And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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