also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
