doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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