I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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