first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
